For so many years, I was a saver. I’m not talking about money, but about gifts. I would receive a book, or beautiful yarn, or clothing, or craft supplies, or a gift card, and I would carefully put them by. I might admire them if they were a physical thing, but I wouldn’t use them.
In this year of self, I am working hard to break that habit. I am spending the gift certificates, using the products, and enjoying myself.
Not sure why we do this to ourselves, saving something for that perfect moment or project, but this year I am breaking free.
As a long time knitter I use knitting for relaxation, creation, meditation and distraction, depending on mood and need.
A nice piece of complicated stitching such as lace or cables can distract me from my worries as it requires my attention and concentration.
For comfort knitting I turn to socks and dishcloths and scarves, things i can knit without thought, just enjoying the repetitive motion of the stitches.
I like to knit while watching TV, and a less complicated but interesting piece will usually fit the bill.
I love the versatility of knitting – the degree of difficulty and complexity chosen to suit my purpose at the time and to serve a specific need.
Almost three years ago we became empty nesters. Bushboy graduated and moved out to begin the next chapter of his life story, which we totally support.
The first six months were hard for me. I experienced a lot of anxiety as he found his footing as an adult in his own space. But slowly my anxiety lessened as he proved himself able to forge ahead.
Mr. Kate and I took a trip to Hawaii, our first solo vacation since before we became parents. We rode the motorcycle more. We began to enjoy our life as parents to a young adult who didn’t live under our roof.
Life intervenes though, doesn’t it? Best laid plans, and all that. As the need to be a hands-on parent eased, a need for me to become a hands-on daughter increased.
Our empty nest journey has been a little waylaid over the past two years, both by a call to duty and by a global pandemic. But as all experienced parents know, adaptation is the name of the game.
Living on the west coast and in a natural paradise, a lot of our days off are spent getting outside. Having grown up on the island our outdoor spaces are woven into my psyche and definitely form part of who I am.
We get snow a handful of times a year, and every once in a while a cold front collides with a wet Pacific front and we get dumped on. Such was this weekend, when about a foot of snow fell in two days.
Because we get so little snow generally, snow clearing equipment is pretty low on our city’s budget. Which means whe. We get a foot of snow in a short time frame – we are snowed in. Even walking is difficult as sidewalks, etc aren’t cleared quickly (we all know it will usually melt in a few days).
This weekend we just… slowed down. We didn’t go anywhere other than outside to shovel the driveway and a short, laborious walk around the block. We enjoyed the pretty snow and chilled out. Cooked, pulled out a puzzle, read, watched movies, talked. We just hung out for two days.
I got a big bag of baby yarn a couple of months ago from another knitter looking to pass it on, in the hopes of giving my Mum some knitting projects to work on to keep her busy in the winter.
Seeing the yarn sitting in my spare room made me realize that it has been a long time since I knitted something for a baby. I have hit an odd time in life where my friends are too old to have babies but my son and his friends are not yet ready to have babies. We have a small family and no babies on the horizon. There is a baby drought happening in my sphere!
On a whim I have started to knit a baby blanket. Might tuck it into a box, might donate it.
I miss holding babies and cuddling with little ones, reading picture books and having nonsensical conversations. And it surprises me that I think of it even, but there it is.
In my world instead: my cat will cuddle in my lap and try to convince me she’s a needy baby.
What with all our time being spent at home these days, Mr. Kate and I have been coming up with projects as something different to do. For Christmas I gave him a meat attachment (grinder and stuffer) for our Kitchenaid and a recipe book for sausage making. Last weekend we got to it!
The first week of January one of our local stores always has pork legs on sale for around $20 a leg, so we knew this was the time to make sausages.
Mr. Kate chose Sage Fennel and Kimchi for the first two recipes. We had a blast spending the day mixing, grinding, stuffing, wrapping and eating!
They were delicious! This only used half the leg, so for $10 of pork and maybe $10 other ingredients (more like $6) we got 3 dozen sausages. (There are two layers in the container below.)
The recipes and general instructions in the book were excellent, clear and easy to follow.
Not sure what the next project will be (before Christmas we repainted our front room and stairway) but this one was fun.
One thing about spending so much time at home over the past year is that I have really looked at how we use and live in our space. Which means, if you’re me, plans and projects.
We are good recyclers – but recycling takes up space! Our program only lets us put some things in our blue boxes, the rest must be taken by us to the depot. That means organization which is what I finally got under control this year.
What the project got me thinking about however, was how we – as a society – have focused on only one of the three Rs.
Whatever happened to Reduce and Reuse? Those were supposed to be equally weighted but we in this large space and first world luxury don’t want to think about using less.
So, this year I am hoping to train my little household of two to think more about those other Rs. How can we reduce and reuse? I’d love to hear how other people incorporate the three Rs into their lives.
Fear and anxiety are so strange. They are generally a construct of our minds and yet can hold so much power.
Culturally we witness a society’s fear of change, most recently in the U.S. but throughout history and in every country there are examples of this fear.
In a community fear and anxiety can become a divisive factor, whether over politics, social causes, sports, spending or even basic human rights.
And within one person, anxiety and fear can cause poor decisions, a retreat from society, a negative sense of the world around and obsession.
The current times of massive political, societal and pandemic unrest are such breeding events for fear and anxiety, which then creates a loop of poor decisions and behaviours.
I haven’t got the answers by a long shot. I am no less susceptible to the fear and anxiety, to the looping in the mind of thoughts that help no one. To the inner worries that block outer joy.
I fortunately am not a depressed person by nature. I live surrounded by beauty and I have a healthy amount of hobbies. I have a partner who has my back. I have a way out of the web.
But what of those who don’t have the tools and advantages I do? How do they break the grip of fear and anxiety? How do we, as individuals, as communities, as a society, get past it?
I think it starts with one positive. Follow animal feeds on social media. Listen to music. Turn off the news (go right to the source if you want information eg I go to our Island Health and provincial Covid19 websites, or to the World Health Organization, for information). Breathe. Find a hobby or pick up a neglected one. Play with something considered childish… building blocks or crayons. Make a new recipe. Make yourself a mug cake. Hang out with a pet.
None of this will change the big issues. But if you change your focus those big issues become less overwhelming.
Canada, as a northern country, not only has four distinct seasons of weather but also has very distinct seasons of light and dark. Our summers boast long days of bright light while our winters suffer through long periods of darkness. Here on the west coast that is compounded by our rainy season, where the short days are made darker by grey, soggy skies.
January in particular is bleak. The Christmas lights have come down, the sunrise isn’t until well after 8am, and it’s dark before dinner.
Add in days, if not weeks, on end of dreary weather, and it can all be a bit much.
This year there are no get aways to warmer climes, or even weekend shopping trips to the city for distraction. Instead, we are combatting the January blahs in whatever way we can.
New recipes, clearing closets, bringing light inside. Starting new hobbies, exploring colour.
And of course, as every true west coaster knows, you embrace it and simply get outside.
Rocks, Waves, Beach 