Posted by: Kate | October 5, 2010

Me and The Fall

I was always a person who loved the fall. The crisp days, the leaves changing colour, the cooler evenings – for most of my life I have considered myself a fall person. I would always tell people it was my favourite season, and I meant it. The last few years, however, the love has faded. I still appreciate fall for the beauty, but honestly? It is no longer the season of my heart.

I think it started when Bush Boy started school. All of a sudden September and October and November meant business and new schedules and adjustments to new classmates, class rules and teachers. It meant making lunches and picking up an often hunger-induced or rule-following-induced grumpy boy. By late fall he had gotten comfortable with the routine, but early fall it could be tough. The fall became a time of loss, as we in turn said a final good-bye to my mother-in-law, my mom’s best friend, and my high-school mentor. Fall means the start of virus season, coming home in my healthy boy to make me feel dragged down and low.

I don’t hate fall, but every year I find myself yearning just a little more for the ease of summer – for the slightly later mornings, the outside lunches, the hanging out and the quick jaunts out when the mood strikes. I miss the heat, the swimming, the walking barefoot.

As fall goes on I settle in, I enjoy it, I see the beauty. But in my heart of hearts I know, it is no longer my season.

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Responses

  1. Yes, it can be a sad time of year for many who have children back to school. It always meant a busy time for me, time for everyone to get back to business, no fooling around anymore, no more walking barefoot in the park and everything a lazy, summer entails. Sorry to hear of your MIL and other important people in your life. Hang in there, kiddo, Christmas is just around the corner ;-)

  2. I feel the same way even though I don’t have kids in school any more. October has it’s share of sad memories for me as well. That, along with the shorter days and that nip in the air that reminds me that we have 5-6 months of not-so-great weather ahead, makes me want to run away to somewhere warm. Thank goodness for the fireplace and my knitting. And old movies. And friends.

  3. :-)

  4. I’ve always thought fall was my season too. And in a way, I think it still is. But lately I see a cycle of feeling lethargic, depressed, and just plain grumpy in the fall despite all the beauty going on around me. I’m not a winter person and fall, despite all it’s glory, represents just how close we are to ridiculously short, cold days…

    Maybe that’s why the change of heart. Or maybe I’m just fickle.

  5. sending you a hug – all things are temporary and spring will be here again before you know it!

  6. as a teacher i can totally understand how stressful and hectic this time of year can be. i hope that things will soon ease for you and the beauty of those autumn colors and long sunrays will warm you a bit!


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