Posted by: Kate | April 15, 2010


One of the common complaints in this house is that adults are never wrong (in perception rather than reality) and get to make decisions that impact everyone else. That’s how it appears from one perspective.

When I was 17 I wrote a poem about adults not being wiser, just more adept at hiding the feelings and anxieties. The poem was published in a high school anthology, and upset some of the adults in my life. But now that I am 37, I still believe the premise of what I wrote is sound. While we have had life episodes that perhaps make us more experienced in the world, I don’t think it always makes us wiser. We have just learned that, as adults, we have to take responsibility for our decisions and actions, so we better look like we know what we are doing!

Although the anxieties are different now from when I was 10, 14, 17 (and those anxieties were tough for sure), they are no less powerful and real. And now two other people’s lives ride on my decisions daily. I fight to not let the weight of worry and anxiety ride on my shoulders, but to  remain positive and upbeat. It is a choice we make, and perhaps that is the experience adults bring to the table – the realization that we choose our perceptions of reality and we can change them.


  1. Interesting to read, especially from the perspective of a mother…and I think that the wise, young Kate was right on.

    I wish, however, that all adults have learned that we must take responsibility for our decisions and actions.

  2. a beautiful essay and i very much agree that ‘we choose our perceptions of reality and can change them’. remembering that thought can be so powerful. thanks for the reminder.

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