Posted by: Kate | October 22, 2009

A Different Mom

“Sometimes I wish you weren’t quite such a different mom.”

Bush Boy said that to me the other day. When pressed, he said it was because he had to go to bed earliest of everyone in his class. I asked him if he thought everyone told the truth about their bedtimes… it hasn’t yet occurred to him that the kids might exaggerate these things. I like that he quantified the statement with quite such – he’s ok with me being different most of the time I guess that means.

We had a frank discussion about why I’m a different mom, as he put it. In the end he decided that I wasn’t different in a bad way, and that he really does prefer the way we do things overall. But as he gets older and sees his friends with more material goods, and not liking reading, and being ‘too cool’ he needs reassurance that his way, and my way, is just as valid and ok. Luckily he is accepted socially as he really is an outgoing, fun-loving kid. He’s known most of these kids for five years now, and they all know he doesn’t watch as much tv, doesn’t see all the latest PG13 movies, and doesn’t own video game systems.

I accepted that I was a ‘different mom’ a long time ago. I am hoping that Bush Boy will continue to accept and understand that as well.

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Responses

  1. this is a beautiful post kate. i am inspired by the open and honest conversations you have with bush boy.
    i’ve wondered myself how this issue will play out with lily as she grows older and goes off to school and sees other families who make choices different from our own.
    you are blazing a wonderful trail for me to follow!

  2. This is one way that it’s easier being a homeschooling mum, rather than harder – we don’t have the continuous daily influence of other people’s parenting styles.

  3. As someone who shares many of your values, and now has “grown up” kids. I can assure that you are good and Bush Boy will appreciate it more and more with every passing year.

    It is still amazing to me that I once had three teenagers in the house and it was good. I see parents around me running like cray to keep up with the Jones’ and the end result is a spoiled kid who really could have benifited from less stuff, and more down time. As Bush Boy gets older he will see it too and be grateful for his “different” family.

  4. Thanks Kate. I know those conversations are not far away in my household. I’ll be looking to you for advice.

    Three cheers for “different moms!”


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