Posted by: Kate | March 6, 2008

What Age are You?

I’m turning 35 this year, and the half-decades seem to be the ones that make me the most pensive (25 was a big deal to me). They make me muse and ponder, even more than I usually do.

My father is turning 70 this year. So that means he was my age when he and my mum got me. Then they picked up and moved their whole lives, with new baby and three year old, and started a new adventure on the west coast. I mentioned to my mum that I am the age my dad was at that time, and she was shocked. She said, “But we seemed so old then, and you seem so young now.”

Perspective is everything, isn’t it. I have heard people say that as you grow older you find an age that you feel inside, that has nothing to do with your age in calendar years. I read an interview with an 80 year old woman who said she still felt like a 16 year old girl inside. But I don’t feel that way. Inside I feel like … me. I’m certainly not the assertive teenager I was, nor the twenty-something. Maybe this will be my age, as I feel pretty at home with myself most of the time. I like being a little older, which for me has come with more patience and more calm. There are times I don’t feel my age, but that is usually brought on by other people I am around.

How about you? Do you simply be whatever age you are, or do you have an inside age that stays with you?



  1. I’m going to be 46(gak!)next month and I still find myself thinking that the adults need to take control and make the decisions, and then I think oh yeah, I’m the adult and they are waiting for me to take charge, as I’m usually the oldest at gatherings. Since I was 37 when I had my last child, I’m usually the oldest mom at school stuff . I keep forgetting that, inside I think I’m still in my 30’s, still a kid. I thought I was so old at 35, how I wish I could reclaim that body at that age!

  2. I turned 45 this year but I I think my internal age is 28. In my head I feel younger than in my body, although I am becoming better at reconciling the person I see in the mirror or in photos with myself. I find it a little hard to believe that I will be 50 in only five years, but apart from that I am quite philosophical about aging, and I am very comfortable with who I am these days, probably much more so than when I was 28.

  3. I was 19 for a long time. Then I was 23. Now I am 28. But I’m really 35.

  4. Me, being Matronly and all, understand this. I am exactly one decade older and people practically fall off their chairs when they learn that fifty is in my not so distant future. I think it’s not just because of looking young, but expanding. My yoga teacher once observed that many old people shrink: their spines fold, they bend and fold– and their minds do too. They get concerned with minutiae. So I hope to expand — learn and let that spine lengthen. So far, so good.

  5. I’m going to be 46 this year too and feel exactly that age. But I like feeling that way–I like the place I’m at in my life right now more than any other stage so far, so 46 feels very good.

  6. I don’t think about age much, and when I do, it makes everything weird. It blows my mind that my next door neighbors are 10 years younger than me. And since my husband is 12 years older than me, that makes him old enough to be their father!

    I just go with the flow, but I like being 35. It’s like being an “official” grown-up.

  7. My favourite new perspective on age comes from a quote read on a coffee house wall a few months ago:

    “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?”

    For me this says it all. Age is not a number but how you feel IN the world.

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