I have always tried to be honest about our son’s personality traits, good and bad. I openly talk about his strengths and his weaknesses. I started to do this because I got tired of feeling alone all the time.

A blogger I read mentioned the Christmas form letters; you know, the ones that tell you the wonderful things the children are doing, the wonderful vacations the family took, the wonderful wonderful life they live. Those letters leave you feeling either that a) they’re all exaggerating or b) you really have a sucky life. I feel that way listening to some of the parents I talk to. Their child is so sweet and funny and talented and well-behaved, that I am afraid to say anything about my son, lest he not measure up. I start to feel the pressure to do the same, only mentioning the good things he does. (And there are many. As I feel the need to reassure people when I do talk out, I do believe my son is the cat’s pajamas, the sparkling star in my universe, and even more. I adore him.) But in the last year or so, I have started to speak out. Because what I realized, from watching parents interact with their kids, is that we are all struggling in our own ways. So maybe if I talk to you about it, you will feel better knowing that someone else has struggles.

Honesty opened up a help line of sorts with parents in my son’s class. They have come to realize, through the way I talk with them, that it is ok to talk to me about both good things and tough things their child is going through. That I won’t judge them, and that I am likely to share my own stories. Now I find myself in a place where I am comfortable accepting my child for who he is, I can help other parents do the same. And by telling me their stories, they help me see that my house isn’t the only one in the area that isn’t perfect.

No parent is perfect, just like no child is perfect (no matter what those Christmas letters say). Some people say I am too hard on my son, others say I am too soft. I say I deal with him as an individual, in a way that works for us. And I want to be able to talk with other parents about it, openly and honestly, without fear of being judged. So even if I shock some of them, I will keep sharing. If it encourages even one other parent to be honest and open in return, then we will be able to truly support each other.